A Nose For Surgery

‘I SAY, I say, I say, this Hollywood celebrity’s got a new nose. “Why, how does she smell?” Through a hole behind her ears.

‘You should have seen the one that got away’

The cruel thing is that noses keep on growing throughout life, thus necessitating not one but many, many visits to doctors Nip ‘n’ Tuck.

Ears can be pinned back, lips enlarged and reduced in turn, but left to its own devices a nose will run all over your face.

Take Barry Manilow who is seen leaving the aforesaid doctors’ surgery clad in a pair of dark sunglasses, a Jimmy Savile-style fright wig and a neck brace.

The simple explanation is that the Barry’s had some surgery, possibly a nose job. The more complex scenario has Barry donating his spare flesh to the War Against Terror – every little helps.

Why Barbra Streisand has had surgery is anyone guess. And here’s ours – with help from the Enquirer’s gallery of the changing mush of dear Babs – she’s looking a rough as a badger’s bum.

Looking at Babs in a ridiculous disguise of black straw hat, blue smock and the kind of face mesh usually worn by beekeepers and the Taliban, the surgery has been done.

Of course she might not of had anything done. Remember this, as the Enquirer does: “Plastic surgery would frighten me,” said Babs. “I don’t even have my ears pieced.”

Silly Babs must have finally realised that your don’t have to take your ears off to have them holed. Surgery can be one in situ, as it were.

Of course, you do get to leave your old face behind on the operating room floor, before it is transferred onto the head of an older patient.

And so it goes. And so it goes…’

Posted: 29th, August 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink