Throwing The Fit

‘WE live in dark times.

‘Smudge my lipstick and I’ll break your neck’

The world is a more violent place than it was years ago, when doors could be left open and Germans would knock before parachuting down your chimney.

These days good men like Tony Blair turn to violence as a first line of defence and Miss Worlds indulge in thuggery and brute force.

Azra Akin is the beauty queen in the Mail’s fame, and is seen in a state of mania throwing former Spice girl Mel C over her shoulder – a shoulder on which only a sash used to sit.

Stuff protecting the rain forest, being nice to impoverished children and saving dumb animals from a trip to the tailor’s – this Miss World means business.

The result of this unlikely fight is that the one known as Sporty Spice has torn a cruciate ligament. Mel will take solace in the paper’s reminder that the same injury was inflicted upon Paul Gascoigne when he was thrown over the shoulder of Miss Bridlington Kebab 1997.

But why the fight? “Why not?” indeed. But for Miss World to turn nasty some line must have been crossed.

The Sun clarifies things, saying how the entire thing was a “TV stunt”, all part of a show called The Games, where Z-list celebs do battle.

The show’s winner is elevated to the celebrity Y-list, and so it goes. After 25 series of the programme, the overall Best In Breed is given a GCSE-inspired A-star rating and their own chatshow on BBC4.

The losers get surgery…’

Posted: 12th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink