Slax Lovin’ Criminals
‘ATTENTION! You are under arrest!
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| ‘Trust me – I’m middle class’ |
Yes, you, the people reading this in your leather-upholstered office chairs and your luxury caravans. You, the stout citizens of Middle England. You, the so-called respectable middle classes.
Turns out youre not so respectable at all. Indeed, youre a bunch of tea-leaves, fraudsters and all-round chancers, who couldnt be trusted to run a whelk stall or shop at one without using some dodgy pretext to demand a refund.
But dont take our word for it (after all, were as middle class as the next website, and wouldnt know the truth if it hit us in the eye).
No, this news of something rotten in the state of Britain comes courtesy of the Telegraph, which reports a Keele University survey which found that most middle-class people fiddle insurance claims, return worn clothes to shops, keep the extra money when overchanged, and also rip-off customers while running their own businesses.
The survey dismisses the conventional criminal stereotype of a young man in his early 20s wearing scruffy jeans. Quite so.
Todays self-respecting criminal is an altogether more attractive proposition, with his folded-up Telegraph, cashmere cardigan and immaculate Comfi-Slax (three pairs for £20 from the usual address or a tenner in cash in the golf club car park).
Make that a fiver for masons.’
Posted: 12th, September 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
