A Blyton On Children

‘HAVING moulded the 1980s youth into a conical bra and ripped boob tube, Madonna is now looking to shape the children of the 21st Century in her new image.

Madonna models this year’s Golliwog

And the Express says she’s doing it by the power of the written word.

Seen in a chintzy floral-print dress, Madonna is pictured promoting her latest work, a children’s book called The English Roses.

For a clue as to what the book holds in store for fans of Madonna’s literary oeuvre, those looking for more of the usual erotica, whips and bondage, the paper hears from the mumsy singer.

“I like little kids better than big people,” says Madonna. “They don’t have any bad habits.”

She’s right, as usual. When was the last time a little ankle biter took his finger from his nose and pressed the nuclear button? You don’t hear about children killing each other with real bullets – well, not in the UK, and then not that often.

Children run along in gangs of five and seven solving crimes on magical islands and getting into scrapes with dogs, Big Ears and a little black animal-type creature called Golliwog.

So we ask, like the Mail asks Madonna, “What’s it like to be known as the next Enid Blyton?” “Who’s that,” the new Enid Blyton cleverly replies. “What’s she done?”

Madonna then opens her weighty tome and with the help of her own two children, Noddy and Mallory, reads aloud. “Julian, Anne, George and Timmy were looking for Dick…”’

Posted: 15th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink