Going Bananas

‘ILLEGAL immigrants are on David Blunkett’s mind. The baking hot weather and now the Telegraph’s story that bananas are growing in south–east London are signs that Britain is changing under their nefarious influence.

One in the eye for the cheats

Having made the weather hotter and caused tropical fruits to grow in Margaret O’Callaghan’s garden in Bickley, near Bromley – surely, all part of some dastardly plot to recreate a home from home – the illegals are about to be reined in.

But first the Home Secretary must discover how many illegal immigrants are performing their godless Sun Dance in our land. Problem is, as the Independent says, he doesn’t have a clue. “I haven’t a clue,” says he.

What with their many tribal sub-groups – “bogus asylum seekers”, “economic migrants” and those “illegal immigrants” – keeping a record of their exact numbers is proving tricky.

But the new scheme being talked about in Government circles is for all immigrants seeking residency in the United Kingdom to carry identity cards.

These badges of entry could even include an impression of the holder’s iris.

This all sounds very hi-tech and impressive. But when they offer up their heads for iris checking, why don’t we just brand them between the eyes instead?’

Posted: 22nd, September 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink