Palpitation, Palpitation, Palpitation

‘THOSE that think Tony Blair wears his heart on his sleeve must prepare yourselves for some shocking news. It’s a lie!

Close your door on the way out, Tony

The actual Blair heart lies in his chest, although yesterday it did try to jump free.

“HEART DRAMA: IS THIS THE END OF BLAIR?” asks the cover of the Express, a question echoed verbatim in the Star.

The story is that the Prime Minster yesterday underwent treatment for an irregular heartbeat.

This prompts the Express to employ all its years of medical training and conclude that “palpitations or irregularities in heartbeat suggest that something is wrong”.

Please write in and correct us if we are jumping to any conclusions, but that something might be to do with the PM’s heart.

But why should our leader be stricken so? By way of an answer, the Mail says that the roots of Blair’s five-hour hospital ordeal are founded in “stress, working too hard, lack of sleep or even drinking too much coffee”.

To say nothing of the love he has for all mankind and his drive for a third term of office and, who knows, a fifth child.

With so much love to give, it’s far from surprising that the heart is busting at the seams.

But what if Tony were to croak, and – in the hiatus between his death and his rising again – a new leader were needed?

Helpfully, John Prescott, as the Sun reminds us, is ready to stand in.

There would then be a leadership election within the Labour party, which would most likely be won by Gordon Brown, a man who looks like he’s gasping for air already, or a messianic Tony Blair.’

Posted: 20th, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink