Morning Glory

‘IN the last few days, we have learnt more than we ever wanted to know about Prince Charles and his morning routine.

‘You look like you’re good with your hands’

Of course, we are not allowed to divulge exactly what ex-valet George Smith said he saw when he delivered breakfast in bed to the heir to the throne.

So, we will have to be content with describing the Prince’s breakfast, which a Royal insider tells the Star is organised with ‘the precision and efficiency of a Formula 1 car’.

The cup and saucer are on the right of the tray, a silver spoon pointing outwards at an angle of 5 o’clock. Plates must be placed with the Prince of Wales crest pointing to 12 o’clock.

Butter must come in three balls, slightly chilled, and toast is always in a silver rack.

If Charles wants a plate of bangers, the mustard jar must be on the left, with the pepper pot behind it, and the salt cellar must be on the right.

‘The royal household operates on a strict system on military lines, with specific servants having specific roles,’ says Simon Solari, a former valet.

Solari casts doubt on Smith’s allegations, suggesting that he was never of a high enough rank to serve the Prince his breakfast.

‘The two main valets work it out in regards to their days off,’ he tells the Star. ‘It really wouldn’t fall on the most junior valet to look after the Prince.

‘They’re behind the scenes, hanging up the ties if you like.’

Knowing as we do that Prince Charles has servants to squeeze his toothpaste onto a brush and even to hold the Royal todger when he goes for a pee, we are not surprised to learn that he has a Royal Tie Hanger-Upper.

But what, we ask, was the official title of the lickspittle whom Smith alleges he saw giving the future king his wake-up call that morning.’

Posted: 12th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink