Ringing The Changes

‘HAVING been educated in the ways of domestic violence, the papers now tell us about the new crime of using hand-held mobile phones while driving.

”I’m on the train”

The Mail, Mirror and Express all do this by first showing us pictures of people, possibly models, holding what appear to be strips of plastic to one of their ears.

These objects, we are told, are ”telephones”. And since there are no visible leads on show, we make the leap that we are looking at ”mobile telephones”.

With that sorted out, the Mirror moves onto what it calls ”The Big Mobile Muddle”.

But readers should turn instead to the Mail where the issue has been upped to become the ”Great Mobile Muddle”.

The muddle is whether or not you are breaking the law by talking on a telephone while driving.

The Mail seeks to unravel the muddle in a series of questions and answers, the pick of which are: ”What does the new law mean?”; ”So could I stick my phone on the dashboard with Blu-tak?”; ”Can you text or use the Internet on a phone while driving?”

All important issues which the Mail dissects with a rare precision. It even thinks nothing of confronting the thorny question: ”How is hand-held defined?”

The answer to that is: ”It is one that is held in your hand – even for a second.”

Tomorrow the Mail will explain what a car is, with the aid of photographs, diagrams and several pictures of John Prescott.’

Posted: 2nd, December 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink