A Black Day

‘BLESSEDLY, the Mirror brings news that the Princess Diana ”MURDER’ PROBE’ will be overseen by none other than the nation’s top cop, Metropolitan Commissioner Sir John Stevens.

WANTED: Swarthy foreigner to fit up for death of a princess

Soon we will know the truth, namely that the man who did for our Princess of Hearts was a black male immigrant driving a stolen mini cab.

But even though the police have their suspects, we still have to go through the motions of an investigation – and that, according to the Sun, is ‘DIABOLICAL’.

This investigation will ‘waste’ millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money, a fact the Sun finds shocking.

But surely the paper is wrong to complain. Such has been the emoting about Our Lady Of The Immaculate Dress that the legion of Diana fans that make up the taxpaying populace will be happy to pay up to see her alleged killer(s) brought to justice.

Indeed, the real shock is that the Sun’s offices are not right now surrounded by ululating taxpayers upset that Di’s name has wound up in some front-page pun.

But the truly unfortunate headlines belong to the Mail. Take the front-page effort: ‘CHARLES: HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE?’

This might be a question best aimed at Charles’ butler. Although rumours about Charles’ sexuality were a tawdry affair, we cannot help but wince at the Mail’s second headline on the matter, this time talking about ‘CHARLES’S ANNUS HORRIBLIS’.

And it’s set to get messier yet if the plant-talker is questioned about the death of his ex-wife and the mother of his children.

But, as we suspect, given the police’s handling of many other high-profile cases, justice will be done – or seen to be done.

So if you see or hear of any swarthy immigrants banging on about the death of our Princess, please let the authorities know.

Di’s old mates living and shopping in the Knightsbridge area should be especially vigilant…’

Posted: 7th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink