Just The Ticket

‘SOLOMON would have known what to do. But given the received wisdom that possession is nine tenths of the law, the chances of Rebecca Jemison sharing her £37m lottery winnings with Elecia Battle appear slimmer than Atomic Kitten at a meeting of the Vanessa Feltz Appreciation Society.

Losers weepers

The Sun takes up the story of how Elecia Battle bought a lottery ticket from her local shop and then lost it when she dropped her bag in the street.

Later, when the winning lottery numbers were announced, she realised she’d won but failed to find her ticket.

She reported the matter to the police, giving them the numbers, which tallied with her family’s ages and birthdays.

The police even seemed to believe that she had genuinely lost her ticket.

As Lt Kevin Nieter tells the Mirror: ‘We don’t believe she’s fabricating it but there’s no real way of knowing other than going on her word.’

But trumping Battle’s word is Rebecca Jemison, who one week after the draw was made produced the winning ticket, bought, as luck would have it, at the same shop where Battle claims to have bought hers.

The situation is now likely to end up in court, where the judge will decide who gets the dough.

And whoever wins, we, the British taxpayers, wish them every happiness, and remind them that Princess Diana was every bit their Princess as she was ours.

And if they’d like to help with the investigation into her death, it would be appreciated.

Please send money, tickets, Fiat Unos and gold bars to the Anorak Di-ing For Love appeal at the usual address.

We know she would have wanted it thus.’

Posted: 7th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink