Kwik Fixes

‘WHEN you are motoring along at criminal speeds, take care not to career into that enormous lorry pulled up on the hard shoulder.

”Land ahoy!”

It’s not a wagon full of asylum seekers and cocaine, but the last word in medial treatment.

The Independent has a picture of these new mobile operating theatres, each of which carry £1m of equipment and are able to provide cataract operations to 41,000 NHS patients in the next five years.

Readers of the Times also learn that the two trucks are operated by Netcare, billed as Africa’s largest healthcare provider, which owns 45 hospitals in South Africa.

And if the Times is also to be believed, the surgeons on board will wear boiler suits, dance on the spot while holding their instruments in a powerfully suggestive manner and be able to service your car while you wait.

They are, are they not, the staff of a ”Kwik-Fit” style health service running alogde the NHS.

And run along very nicely it will too, since the surgeons’ tools can be used to change tyres and replace an old and worn exhaust while the nurse swabs your windscreen.

And the price for this service? Well, the surgeon will need to suck on a pencil for a moment longer, but his assistant, Lance, assures us that it’s cheaper than the NHS and well worth the effort…’

Posted: 13th, January 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink