Burning Down The House

‘RAPE, abortion, beatings, arson and gang war – it’s just another quite week down Walford way. It’s no wonder most of the residents spend every waking moment in the pub.

Janine gets Ricky into another fine old mess

Billy had a particularly ‘good’ week by Walford standards. Firstly he almost killed Vicky (so it isn’t all bad news), then he discovers that his wife would rather keep a rapist’s baby than stay with him.

In a bizarre attempt to forget his marriage wows, Billy agreed to burn down Angie’s Den for Sam. (Un)fortunately, Vicky was in the cellar of the club at the time and it was only Billy’s bravery/guilt that prevented her from burning to death as he broke down the door and carried her out.

Billy’s been hailed a hero by everyone for saving Vicky’s life, which he’s finding quite difficult to cope with. Dennis alone was convinced that Billy only rescued Vicky because it was him who started the fire in the first place.

“I know you did it,” he hissed to Billy. “Maybe I did – but you can’t prove a thing,” Billy replied. That all was the ammunition Dennis needed to declare a turf/playground war. He stormed round to Sam and demanded that she pay for the damage to the club, “or else.”

Or else what? He’d pull her pigtails ‘til she cried? Sam has a new protector, however, in the shape of Andy – Kat’s almost husband and the East End’s poshest gangster.

Andy was dumped out of a car battered and bruised into the Square. He managed to stagger to the Vic where Kat has been nursing him back to health.

“I owe ‘im that much,” she told a not entirely happy Alfie. Alfie won’t have to worry for much longer though as Sam’s got her eye on Andy – on the grounds that he’s the only man under 60 in Walford who she hasn’t slept with.

“We could make a great team,” she purred in his ear before lunging at him. What sort of team would that be then? A synchronised swimming team? It’s difficult to imagine those two terrorising the East End, unless it’s with their woeful attempts at cockney accents.

They should be taking lessons from Janine on how to be a truly scary villain. Her terrifying thighs aside, she’s playing the murderous grieving East End wife with a conviction that the Krays would be proud of.

She’s decided to have nothing to do with Paul now on the grounds that he’s “weak” and is now determined to set up her own empire – well, by Walford standards, a second hand car lot is an empire.

Janine’s persuaded Ricky to move in with her and go into business together as they’re “fam’ly”. Later this week though, Ricky begins to realise that Janine isn’t quite as innocent as he thinks. Amazing. At this rate Ricky’ll be doing joined-up writing by Christmas.’

Posted: 26th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink