Tying The Knot

‘FIZZ has finally chosen between her two suitors, much to the relief of everyone on the street.

Put some Fizz into your life

“It’s so hard being this irresistible,” she sighed to Shelly in The Rovers as Janice choked on her hot pot.

Tyrone got in first with a ring and a marriage proposal, but she turned him down. “I’m sorry, Ty, but me ‘art belongs to another.” (Gregg’s the bakers presumably).

When Kirk heard that Tyrone had bought an engagement ring, he was determined not to be left out. But unfortunately Kirk has about 50 pence to his name – and about as many brain cells – so decided to steal a genuine cubic zirconia from his local branch of Argos.

His fear at getting caught, however, was quickly overcome when Fizz agreed to be his wife. His happiness may be short-lived as Tyrone happened to see CCTV footage of the hapless one stealing the ring on a local crime show.

“When Fizz finds out, the weddin’ will be off,” he told Vera. “No-one makes a fool out of me.” Presumably because he does a good enough job on his own.

Another wedding that might very well be cancelled is Steve and Karen’s. This time, however, the happy couple actually know nothing about it.

Tracy Barlow has become a fully-fledged bunny boiler and is out to wreck Steve’s life, using the classic loony logic of ‘If I can’t have him then no-one can’.

Tracy declared her undying love to a shocked Steve. “Yer make me belly flutter more than the bay-bee,” she wailed. Steve was understandably horrified. “You’re mental!” he said, stating the obvious. “Stay away from me and Karen.”

Tracy’s now setting about cancelling Steve’s wedding by pretending to be Karen and calling up all the suppliers in tears, claiming that she’s been dumped. Now Brenda ‘voices in my head’ has been sectioned, the Street’s been lacking a loony – here’s hoping this storyline runs for a while.

New character Karl has just been introduced as a nursing friend of Martin’s. Martin is becoming increasingly jealous of him and the time he spends with Katy. He needn’t worry, however, as Karl is being lined up as Todd’s gay lover.

Katy and Martin were due to go on a double date with Todd and Sarah Lou to see Badly Drawn Boy (going on a double date with your step daughter and a girl from her class being of course the most normal thing in the world), but now Martin can’t make it.

“No worries,” said Katy, much to Martin’s displeasure. “I’ll ask Karl.” “Ooh! Badly Drawn Boy!” said Karl. “He rocks!” The bloke is clearly homosexual.’

Posted: 30th, January 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink