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Bird Brain

by | 9th, February 2004

‘ONE swallow does not a President make although, to be fair to George Bush, his mastication has improved markedly since that run-in with a pretzel early in his tenure.

‘I think – therefore I am confused’

These days, Dubya is confident of his ability to remain conscious while tackling a wide range of salty snacks.

He is even taking tentative steps to his goal of being able to eat said snacks and watch TV at the same time, but that could be for a second term.

If one swallow doesn’t make a President, it does not make a summer either.

The Telegraph reports that the first swallow of the year, which typically arrives in March or April, was spotted yesterday in Somerset after migrating from southern Spain.

“Even more surprising,” it says, “has been the appearance along the south coast of several house martins, which normally arrive after the swallow.”

The birds are in for a nasty shock, however, as last week’s unseasonably warm temperatures are replaced by more wintry conditions.

They are also likely to get a bit of a surprise when they find that Home Office officials can’t find southern Spain on a map and deny that they have bullfighting there.’



Posted: 9th, February 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink