My Two Dads

‘EVEN by soap standards, Karen and Steve’s wedding was spectacular. “I’ve got a bridesmaid who used to be a bloke!” joked Karen in the Kabin to Rita. “My wedding’s got everything.”

‘I’m going to call her Rosemary’

How right she was, including child snatching, violence, confessions of paternity and lies – and that’s before Steve and Karen’s marriage had even begun.

Tracy Barlow gave birth to her daughter in a typical over-staffed and patient-empty soap hospital ward. Steve had discovered Tracy’s plans to wreck his wedding and had gone round to have it out with her. Unfortunately for Steve, the baby also wanted to have it out with her at the same time and she went into labour.

Roy spotted them getting into his taxi and insisted, as the father, that he went along too, complete with several ‘How to give birth’ training manuals and spare cardie. Steve was more than happy to hand over responsibility for the loony in labour and ran back to the relative sanity of Karen, aka Bridezilla.

“Roy’s got no right to be in there with her,” shouted Blanche, “it should be me. I’m family.” “Well so is Roy,” shouted Hayley back. “He and Tracy are married.” Which was such startling news for the Barlow family that even Blanche was silenced.

When Tracy realised that Steve and she weren’t going to live unhappily ever after, she handed her daughter over to the ‘differently-abled’ Roy and Hayley. “They’ll be better parents than me,” she told her shocked family. And indeed a woman who used to be a man and a man who’s a borderline Norman Bates probably will be.

By the end of the week though, Tracy had changed her mind. “I want me baby back,” she sobbed to Blanche. “I didn’t know what I was doing.” Conveniently forgetting to mention that she knew enough of what she was doing to spend most of Roy’s money on holidays and clothes.

And of course, this being soapworld, Tracy had her change of heart on Karen and Steve’s wedding day. And as Hayley and Roy had taken her daughter to the wedding it meant that Tracy just had to crash proceedings – causing the most chaos and viewer ratings as possible.

“I want my baby back,” screamed Tracy as Steve and brother Andy tried to hold her back from ripping the baby out of Roy’s arms. “You’re not even his father – Steve is.” Which was news to the entire congregation – especially the bride. “Is this true Steve?” Karen asked, to which Steve used the classic bloke reply, “Sort of.”

After many tears and tantrums, Karen agreed to go through with the wedding and Roy reluctantly handed the baby back to its natural mother. “That’s means I’m a grandma now,” said a shocked Liz McDonald.

Roy and Hayley shouldn’t despair: with Tracy as a mum and Deirdre and Liz as grandmothers, little Aimee will be in care and up for adoption within a couple of weeks.’

Posted: 27th, February 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink