Price War

”RUDE T-shirts and inflatable boobs and bums could soon be a thing of the past at Blackpool,’ reports the Sun, and goes on to explain that this is part of a plan to take the holiday resort upmarket.

Jordan was led away in handcuffs

No such ban exists in Brighton, however. Katie Price, the pneumatic model formerly known as Jordan, is a Brighton girl, and can often be seen parading her rude T-shirts and inflatable breasts around the town.

Press photographer Steve Lawrence is aware of this fact, and was tipped off that Jordan would be out and about with her new squeeze Peter Andre, so he sat in a café and awaited his moment.

Steve owns a local photo agency, and is used to taking celebrity pictures, so he wasn’t expecting any trouble. It was a public place after all, and Jordan knows the score.

But Steve couldn’t have been more wrong. The Mirror’s 3am girls report that the buxom model came racing towards him screaming obscenities and then attacked his camera with such force that she smashed the £1,500 lens.

Her outburst continued until Peter led her away, and Steve reported the incident to the police, who confirmed that they are investigating a complaint.

Steve is no doubt pondering his options. We suggest he gets a new extra-strong lens – you can get some amazingly tough ones these days, as the by-line portrait of the 3am girls proves.

The girls love nothing more than to snigger at the physical shortcomings of the rest of the world, but on this evidence, they should take a good hard look at themselves.

Jessica resembles a Hallowe’en pumpkin, Eva looks like Frank Bruno in a Diddyman wig, and Caroline is obviously undergoing plastic surgery to impersonate Martin Johnson.

Ten years ago, no lens would have stood a chance with those terrifying masks.’

Posted: 6th, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink