The Culling Fields

‘THAT Canada is a uniquely dull place is beyond doubt. But it has also spawned some of the most terrible things to walk the earth.

‘That’ll teach you to balance footballs on your nose’

We think of Celine Dion, Dave ‘Kid’ Jensen and the thousands of backpackers who wear the Maple Leaf flag as they trot round the globe lest they be mistaken for American, found interesting and shot.

And we also think of baby seals, those scourges of the seven seas who steal our fish and bleed on our clean white snow as they have their heads caved in by brave men armed with large spiked metal sticks.

To those who have not met a seal, the annual seal cull, as witnessed by the Mirror, appears cold, heartless and the epitome of evil.

But we who have met seals and know them to be show-offs, who think nothing of clapping, blowing into horns and bouncing footballs on their heads, realise they must die.

And so the Mirror looks on as Canada begins a record cull of around 350,000 seals.

But not everyone is happy, and the US Humane Society has taken out full-page adverts in the American press urging travellers to boycott Canada.

This many are happy to do. So, although it goes against our better judgement, we are prepared to give seals one last chance to straighten out and will not be visiting Canada for our summer holidays this year or any other year.

And we urge you to do the same…’

Posted: 13th, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink