A Doctor Writes

‘TODAY is, according to the Mirror’s WMD-ometer, the 357th day that we haven’t found the weapons of mass destruction that took us to war with Iraq.

‘Have I not elegance? Have I not fragrance?’

It is also, according to the same paper, the 17th day since David Beckham’s crown as perfect husband/perfect father slipped a little.

Which begs the question – will we find Saddam’s WMD before we lose interest in Beckham’s love life?

Certainly, there is little sign of the story flagging this morning as yet another woman comes out of the woodwork claiming to have been betrayed by the England captain.

She is Dr Miriam Stoppard, the Mirror’s agony aunt, who admits: ‘I’m unashamed to confess that I, like millions of other women worldwide, was in thrall to David Beckham.’

His talent on the pitch, his maturity as the captain of the national team, his unselfishness to fellow players, his clear delight in being a father and, yes, his sexiness are what set the good doctor’s heart aflutter.

‘Yet we were wrong all along,’ she says. ‘We were conned. With the confessions of Rebecca Loos, we now know Beckham for what he really is – a total shit.’

Why did the bastard sleep with his slag of a PA and not with me?!’

Posted: 21st, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink