Generation X

‘IF the Telegraph’s poll is right and Tony Blair is now no more or less popular with the electorate than Tory leader Michael Howard, New Labour could be in trouble.

‘Well, that’s four votes in the bag’

What the party and Tony need is a plan, a way of getting the nation excited once more about the Third Way and all that education.

Tony must have brought up this exact topic of conversation at one of his many children’s parties/focus groups, and the recipe for his return to political dominance soon became clear – give the youth the vote.

Just last month the Electoral Commission decided to oppose any move to lower the age at which people are allowed to put a cross on a piece of paper from 18 to 16 – but what do those old squares know about anything, eh kidz?

So, in spite of the advice given by a group set up by Parliament in 2002 to look into just such matters, the Independent says Labour politicians are throwing their weight behind plans to lower the voting age.

‘The commission does not have a veto,’ says one senior Labour source.

‘We will listen carefully to what is said and we will take account of its arguments. But we will make our own decision.’

It’s the kind of language any 16-year-old can understand, although the words are a little better put than ‘Get out of my life, you old witch. I’m not a child anymore!’

But let’s hear from the 16-year-old kids themselves, the yoof who Tony hopes will get the vote – and so vote for the man who gave them it. And so to the Indy’s ‘VERDICT ON THE STREET’.

‘Not all 16-year-olds are mature enough to vote – but the majority are,’ says Ruth MacKenzie.

‘If we had a say in who governed us we’d take more notice of the arguments,’ posits Idnan Hussain.

‘I don’t have any strong view on anything yet,’ says Vikki Doherty, who already sounds like the ideal Tony Blair fan. ‘I think politics is pretty boring.’

But what better way to spice politics up than with an injection of youth? And why not turn the whole thing into a ‘Countdown 2 Vote’.

As Jodi approaches her 16th birthday on General Election day, the Indy could release pictures of the teenager walking slowly towards the polling station.

When polling day arrives, and with it Jodi’s coming-of-age, she steps into the voting booth and reveals her views to the watching world.

And a tattoo of Tony Blair on each naked breast.’

Posted: 4th, May 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink