Laughing Stock

‘IF and when cows get the vote – and, let’s face it, it’s well overdue – then we can expect Michael Howard to be swept into Downing Street on a wave of bovine support.

‘Four stomachs good, one stomach bad’

The Tory leader has spent several days over the past few weeks courting cattle, trying to hitch his political fortunes to some strong oxen.

But unless Howard’s Parliamentary colleagues can force through a Representation Of Bovines Act before next year’s General Election, he could be doomed.

The Times pictures the Tory leader at the Royal Agricultural Society’s annual show yesterday, deep in conversation with Blackbrook Natasha, the longhorn breed champion.

And judging by the number of rosettes she is wearing, Natasha is a keen supporter of Howard’s brand of Conservatism.

The trouble Howard faces is that, according to a poll in the very same paper, the human portion of the electorate (which comprises very nearly 100%) is not so enamoured.

In fact, the Populus poll shows that support for Howard has slumped in the past few months, with him now faring far worse than both Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.

His Tory party are now four percentage points behind Labour and only five points ahead of the Liberal Democrats.

The Times says the success of the UK Independence Party in last month’s European elections is continuing to damage the Tories.

‘This,’ it says, ‘is likely only to exacerbate the intense debate among local Conservatives about whether to co-operate and get closer to UKIP.’

The trouble is that cosying up to UKIP could alienate a large part of the Tories’ more moderate vote, not to mention much of their support among their cud-chewing friends.

Robert Kilroy Silk, after all, is no friend to the Friesian.’

Posted: 6th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink