The Ex Factor

‘NICK left Weatherfield for the third time this week, this time to try his luck in Nottingham (presumably Canadian immigration control has cracked down on imports of foreign timber).

‘Tastes like mutton with a lamb dressing’

Maria has realised that she has to let him get on with his life without her – which is more than his mother, Gail has. “She’s been on the phone to him fer two hours a night,” hissed Sarah Lou to her grandmother.

At 17 years old, Sarah Lou is displaying more maturity than her mother by deciding to get on with her own life and put useless men behind her. Sarah’s decided that she wants to be a hairdresser – which is handy as her grandmother owns a salon.

“I just don’t think I’m being challenged enough at the caff,” she told Audrey, which considering she works with both Roy and Vera, is remarkable.

Vera also has a new job – Frankie, has taken her on as a cleaner/driver/PA/ dogsbody. “Someone in my position needs staff,” she told a bemused Danny. The truth is that Frankie’s lonely and likes to have people to boss about. After Danny banned her from coming into the factory after almost starting a riot when she insisted the girls wore hairnets, she’s been at a loose end.

All that’s set to change though with the arrivals of both her eldest son and her ex lover – who for some unfathomable reason, is determined to win her back. You’d have thought Danny would be glad to see the back of the shrieking mockney fishwife, but apparently not.

More ex factor worries on the street as Mad Maya is convinced that Sunita is trying to woo Dev back. Sunita is having tests, for a possible brain haemorrhage (shouldn’t they ascertain she has a brain in the first place though?) and Dev, as employer and former boyfriend, has promised to help her through it.

To someone as loony as Maya though, this is the equivalent of Dev inviting Sunita to share their bed.

To ensure that Dev stays with her, Maya has booked and paid for their Caribbean wedding – without bothering to mention it to Dev. Dev hasn’t taken the news terribly well, going as far raising both eyebrows at the same time to show how annoyed he really was.

Another ex causing a sensation on the Street is Cilla. Like a dog (in so many ways) with a bone, Cilla is determined not let Les go. She’s pulling out all the stops (and lowering her tops) to try and win him back.

She’s tried the upfront (“I’m happy to share yer, Janice need never know”), to the desperate (“I can’t move on Les – I love ya!”). She’s now trying to tug on his heartstrings. “I just want to see my son but I’ve got nowhere to take him,” she whined “I’m kippin’ on me mate’s floor.”

Or in other words, she’s yet to find another bloke mug enough to take both her and Chesney in.

Les, like the fool’s fool that he is, has agreed that Cilla can come into the house to see her son – providing that she doesn’t tell Janice. “It’s not my fault I’m such a target for women,” a smug Les told Kirk over a can of Co-op Special Brew.

Les is going to find out what it’s actually like to be a target soon though, when Janice comes after him with a big bread knife. Let’s hope the ginger Casanova is a fast runner.’

Posted: 16th, July 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink