Ian Takes A Walk

‘PLENTY of miracles down Walford-way this week. Ian’s suddenly ‘regained’ the use of his legs, Garry’s been brought back from the dead and two prodigal sons returned.

Chrissie knew it was a mistake to get Den a video phone

To be fair, Ian was never really paralysed. When his new employee, Jane, discovered that he’d been pretending, she urged him to come clean. “But Kate won’t feel sorry for me then and want to look after me,” he wheedled, demonstrating his interest technique for attracting women.

It was baby Bobby’s birthday this week and Ian blackmailed Kate into helping out with the party, “I can’t do it without you,” he smarmed. Kate reluctantly agreed to help for the sake of his children, who have had two mothers die (notice a pattern developing here Ian?).

Ian pushed his luck too far when he plucked up the courage to actually ask Kate out again. “I’m sorry Ian,” she stammered, “but I thought I’d made it clear, I just want to be friends. Besides – I’m seeing someone else.” Ian was desperate to find out who, but Kate realised she’d said too much.

Her affair with Den is on rocky ground as it is. Earlier in the week, she’d angrily confronted him when she discovered from his wife that the money Den had been waiting for to start his “new life” with Kate has actually come through weeks ago. When Kate confronted Den, he simply smirked, “leave if you want, but I know you won’t. You love it.”

And in gut-churning scenes, the aging pervert grabbed Kate and subjected her to a full-blown tongues and all snog.

More distressing scenes this week when Garry tried to take his own life in a fit of overblown bad acting. Garry’s suicide bid seemed to have been triggered by his inability to paint a car properly – it can’t have been the fact that his trout-faced loon of a wife had sent him divorce papers.

Luckily for him, Minty – Walford’s own Forrest Gump – happened to find him in time and took him to hospital. Like Forrest, Minty tried to cheer Garry up with some homespun wisdom: “You’ve always got yer family, Gaz.” As Garry’s family are the Slaters, that knowledge is more likely to have him reaching for the razorblades.

At least the Trumans were playing Happy Families this week as sons Paul and Anthony made a welcome return to the Square – fresh from the dole queue and ‘Casualty’ respectively – to celebrate their father’s marriage. And no prizes for guessing which son is desperate to prolong his stay (and salary) down Walford way.’

Posted: 26th, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink