In God’s Name

‘AFTER experiencing Jack Duckworth’s cross-dressing experiment, it seemed that there was nowhere more ludicrous for the Street to go. But less than a week later we’ve now got Karen McDonald having some sort of road to Damascus style religious conversion.

‘And God created us in his own image’

“Me wife’s found religion, I’ve been forced into celibacy and the highlight of our social calendar now is playing scrabble with Roy and Hayley,’ Steve ranted before storming out to the Rovers.

Karen returned from her magical mystery tour of Rhyl and announced that she’d found God – Rhyl can do that to people. Apparently, Rhyl is the last place Karen had ever been happy, at aged 7, before her parents found religion.

“The very last place I was ‘appy,” she told Steve – which he must have been delighted to hear. Karen’s decided that her parents were only trying to do what was best for her and that maybe there was something in this Baby Jesus lark after all.

She is now setting about trying to right the wrongs of her past. “I’m so sorry for everything,” she told Eileen, before insisting on a group hug in the middle of the street.

Next she gave away all her designer clothes to the factory girls. “It’s better to give than to receive, Steve.” Steve is only wishing that Karen would practise what she preaches as she’s also imposed a ‘no sex’ ban while she “finds herself.”

Not surprisingly, everyone on the Street is finding Karen’s attempt to turn herself into Mother Theresa a bit hard to swallow. “Is she on drugs?” Eileen asked Liz.

Steve is finding it all especially difficult to cope with and he’s turning to Tracey of all people, for some comfort. We all know what happened last time Tracey comforted Steve over Karen though, don’t we? Nine months later little Amy was born.

Tracey is convinced that this means that she and Steve will get back together – conveniently forgetting that she’s supposed to be going out with Ciaran.

The little minx is even trying to persuade Ciaran to sell the restaurant behind Penny King’s back and for the pair of them to disappear with the fifty grand she’d invested.

Ciaran’s grand plans to open a “Thai-Indian fusion restaurant,” look like slipping through his fingers. He’s been told he needs another £20,000 to finish the restaurant although, having seen the place, it’s difficult to see how a few plywood walls and IKEA lamps could possibly have cost that much.

Tracey and Ciaran came up with a plan to try and get some investors. They decided to invite the richest people from the street to a special dinner at the half-finished restaurant and then try and get them to invest.

Tracey even put on her French maid’s outfit – something she just happened to have in her wardrobe, although luckily Ciaran was too distracted to ask why. After the meal, which went surprisingly well, Tracey launched an impassioned plea for investment.

And not surprisingly, people weren’t overly keen to invest – poor Tracey, you’d think by now she’d have learnt to always ask for the money up front.’

Posted: 10th, September 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink