A Very British Affair

‘CALL that a protest! Where was the fancy dress? Where was Basil Brush? Where were Dogtanian and the Three Muskerhounds?

And you can stop doing that and all

These people claim they are trying to protect a great British tradition of chasing round a field after a poor fox, but they can only do it by undermining another.

Since time immemorial, there have only been two kinds of protest in this country – in fancy dress and in no dress at all.

And since our pro-hunting friends were not brave enough to go bareback, they should have at least paid a visit to granny’s dressing-up box in the attic before coming to London.

In other respects, however, it was a uniquely British protest.

The Times reports that the demonstrators were of such fine breeding that they couldn’t help but apologise to the police even as they were hit over the head by a truncheon.

“I was right at the front, so I suppose they had a right to hit me,” said an unnamed 25-year-old, apologising to the Times reporter for the blood on his face and his otherwise somewhat dishevelled appearance.

The dress code was also widely observed – very much ties and tweed caps, although a few of the women had dressed down in body warmers and quilted green jackets.

Some sported T-shirts, with messages like “I’m a revolting peasant” and “My other T-shirt’s in the wash”, and carried placards warning, “If you make me break the law, I will.”

And if they want to carry on chasing foxes round a field, these demonstrators will have to break the law after MPs voted to put an end to this most British of sports by 356 votes to 166.

Others were just as bloody, but less sanguine than the Times’ 25-year-old.

The Independent’s 25-year-old, Andrew Vernon, for instance, said the police’s behaviour was disgusting.

“I saw girls getting hit just like me,” he said.

[Girls (or gels), those unfamiliar with the vernacular should note, covers the whole distaff half of society.]

“There were probably 20 of us getting hit up there.”

A police spokesman put the figure at closer to 30 and declared it “the best day’s sport my boys have had since the Poll Tax Riots”.’

Posted: 16th, September 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink