Immaculate Conception
‘KARENS religious conversion is about as likely as the original material girl, Madonnas new-found love of Kabbalah.
‘C’mon, here’s the sample jar. Fill it up’ |
Both of them are better known for their foul mouths and inability to keep their clothes on rather than being great spiritual leaders.
Madge is trying to change her image by donating millions and writing childrens books Karen McDonald has taken to wearing a shapeless black t-shirt and given up pints of bitter. Well, everyones got to start somewhere.
Karens religious mania has taken everyone, especially her long-suffering husband Steve completely by surprise. Karen gleefully gave Emily a collecting tin full of cash that shed raised by harassing people until they gave in (shades of the old Karen still lingering then).
Thats er, most generous of you Karen, stuttered Emily, clearly convinced that Karen must have robbed a bank or done (yet another) photo shot for Readers Wives.
Tracy was determined to crack Karens new holier than thou veneer and gleefully told her that Steve had been paying her fifty pounds a week for the upkeep of Amy. Karen simply responded by telling Steve he should be giving her even more.
Karen did break down, however, when she saw Steve holding baby Amy for the first time. Me mam was right, sobbed Karen. I am an evil, bad person. To wish a little baby were dead
Poor Steve has now even more to worry about as Karen casually announced to both him and Tracy that she was going to have a baby of her own. Steve is especially shocked, as the pair havent slept together for weeks. Perhaps Karen really is the second Virgin Mary.
Elsewhere on The Street, Ciarans new restaurant finally opened after Penny King stumped up the extra £20,000 he needed.
You can bet shes wishing she hadnt now as McCarthys opened to a crowd of precisely five and one of those was Roy, keen to ensure that the restaurant was a failure.
Strangely, Ciarans Thai-Irish fusion food concept hasnt gone down terribly well in Weatherfield.
Ciaran was further disheartened when Tracy didnt show up on the opening night. She told him shed had trouble getting a baby sitter but the reality was she was waiting in at home in case Steve came to her.
Hell come home to us one day, she told baby Amy, whilst rocking and drooling Tracy that is, not baby Amy.
More Street madness this week as Mayas returned, determined to have her pound of flesh (or should that be kilo in these new EU days?).
She and Leanne have hatched up a plan to take Dev to court for sexual harassment. Dev had given Leanne a job in the corner shop which lasted precisely two shifts after she pinned him up against the frozen goods aisle and tried to kiss him.
Leanne, however, is as truthful as a politician and promptly told everyone shed been fired when she rejected Devs advances.
Do you seriously think Id touch that? sneered Dev to Sunita, who was concerned about the rumours. Dev doesnt have the best track record with his staff, however, after sleeping with one (Deirdre) and getting engaged to another (Sunita).
No wonder Todds leaving for London later this week.’
Posted: 20th, September 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink