Penny Drops

‘TRACY Luv showed yet again this week that she’s got the all the morals of a Premiership footballer when she persuaded Ciaran to steal from Penny King.

‘Agh! Stop the horns!’

Recently, Tracy has slept with Roy for a penny bet, tried to sell her own baby and seduced a pensioner because she thought he had money, so no-one should have been surprised when she suggested to Ciaran that he sells the restaurant from behind Penny’s back.

Let’s face it – a restaurant selling “Irish-Thai” fusion food in Weatherfield was never going to be a winner, and it was amazing that Penny agreed to back Ciaran in the first place. This week their only booking was Fred Elliott – which isn’t actually too bad when you consider how much food the man can put away.

A Mr Walker appeared out of the blue, offering to buy the place for £60,000 – the exact sum Penny had given Ciaran. “She doesn’t have to know,” purred Tracy into Ciaran’s ear. “Tell her you got twenty grand for it and we’ll keep the rest.”

Tracy then suggested they go on a spending spree holiday. “We can find the local nudist beach,” she leered at him. “Trust me, I’m not one of those shy and retiring types.” Ciaran’s probably worked that much out by now.

At the last minute, however, Ciaran had an attack of conscience and told Penny what he and Tracy had been planning. “Mike was right,” Penny ranted. “You’re nothing but a crook.”

Penny’s fury is going to be nothing compared with Tracy’s though when she discovers she’s stuck in Weatherfield forever now. Or until she can find another wealthy pensioner.

Elsewhere in Weatherfied, another mug in love, Shelly, has decided to take her straying builder back. “Oh, Charlie!” she wept into his arms, “I’m so lonely without you.”

Charlie is delighted to have his feet back under the bar of The Rovers – and the chance to meet so many old women. Everyone else, however, is horrified. “

He’s a wrong ‘un,” bellowed Fred to anyone who’d listen after he came back from a particularly drunken lunch. “I don’t believe true love exists any more,” he continued.

Fred decided to have a competition to find Weatherfield’s most romantic couple. “Prize is a weekend in Paris,” he announced – although once he’d sobered up, he quickly announced that he meant the Paris Hotel in Bridlington.

Kirk’s attempt to win the weekend consisted of having ‘Fez’ tattooed on his arm, Ken (predictably) read Dreary a poem and Kevin ran Sally a bath – and showed amazing restraint by not drowning her in it.

The winners, however, were Ashley and Claire. Ashley decided to propose to Claire in a packed Rovers. “Every time I see you, I hear car horns,” he squeaked, randomly. Claire, of course, said yes, much to the delight of the pub – and viewers everywhere.

Do I smell a Christmas wedding in the pipeline?’

Posted: 17th, October 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink