Blame It On Leo

‘DEMI Miller gave brought a new generation of Chav into Walford this week when she gave birth to Aleesha Beyonce Miller. And like most 14-year-old mothers, it looks like Demi has been left, quite literally, holding the baby.

‘Don’t kid yourself, love’

Little Aleesha’s father, Leo, did make it to the hospital to visit his daughter but, as Leo’s father was quick to point out, “it’ll be the last time you see your bastard kid.” With parents like that, it’s hard to see how kids go so wrong these days, isn’t it?

Demi’s home and her family are doing their best, providing her with stolen nursery gear and keeping her social worker at bay, but Demi’s already sinking into a black depression.

Once the stitches are out she’ll be able to go back to shoplifting though, so that’ll no doubt cheer her up.

Billy’s also suffering from baby blues. Although he’s agreed to bring up baby Freddie as his own, he’s struggling to cope with the fact that his wife’s given birth to her rapist’s child (a typically upbeat EastEnders storyline).

Little Mo is trying to get her life back to normal and has even taken her old job back behind the bar of the Vic – the place of her rape.

“It’s just a pub,” she tried to reassure Billy. And other than the Vic, the mini mart or the launderette, where else is there to work in Walford?

New arrival Stacy Slater is quickly developing into the Square’s most irritating character – quite a feat given the competition.

She’s now blackmailing Spencer – telling him that she’s only 15 and that, if he doesn’t pay up, he’ll go to prison with “all the other nonces.” Spencer handed over his lifesavings, all sixty pounds, before Zoe told him that Stacy was 16 after all.

It’s difficult to have much sympathy for someone who’s so stupid it didn’t even occur to him to ask any of the Slater family how old she actually was.

Dirty Den meanwhile has returned his trip to Spain (aka his suspension for his internet antics). In his first scene back, he presented wife Chrissie with an enormous stuffed sausage – someone in the script department is clearly having a laugh.

“It’s gonna take more than that to win me back,” she told Den, before hitting him over the head with it – something one fears that Den would probably enjoy.

If the tabloids are to be believed, and please God they are, this is Den’s very last return to Walford. The man who’s had more comebacks than Elvis is rumoured to be up for the chop in the new year.

Let’s hope it’s the last we see of Den – and his sausage.’

Posted: 16th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink