A Father’s Figure

‘NOW that Dennis Watts is back (from suspension), Chrissie and Vicky have decided it’s time he met Tommy – Vicky’s 43-year-old boyfriend.

”Now you know what yer mum saw in Den”

“E’s what?!!” shouted Den on hearing the news that his daughter was dating someone 25 years older than her.

Chrissie and Vicky both tried to point out that he wasn’t exactly one to talk about age gaps – as he got Vicky’s mum pregnant when she was 16 and his current wife is over 15 years younger. But of course it’s do as I say, not do as I do, for the Square’s number one pervert.

Den managed to keep his fists to himself when Tommy came round for lunch and they even shared a ‘moment’ together, discussing music they’d grown up to.

Den quickly changed his tune though when he discovered that Tommy was planning on going to Thailand on ‘business’ and taking Vicky with him.

“What sort of business you got out there then eh?” he snarled at him. Tommy shouldn’t take it the wrong way, though – given his internet proclivities, Den is probably genuinely interested.

Chrissie has also changed her opinion of Tommy – as he’s now trying to lure her into bed. “You know you want it,” he whispered into her ear when the two were alone in ‘Angie’s Den’.

Bizarrely, Chrissie seemed to fall for his charm and the pair had a brief kiss before Den arrived. Mind you, considering the fact that Chrissie is married to Dirty Den, “you know you want it” is probably the closest she’s ever come to a chat-up line.

Chrissie’s guilt turned to fury though, when Tommy, terrified that she’d tell Vicky what had happened managed to convince Vicky that it was Chrissie who’d come onto him.

“You know what it’s like when a woman gets to a certain age. It’s probably the change,” he told a shocked Vicky. Chrissie was determined to show her step-daughter what a rat her boyfriend was and so set up a ‘News of the World’ style expose.

Chrissie started flirting with Tommy in the Vic. “Meet me in the men’s loos,” she breathed to him – the men’s loos of The Queen Vic being of course, the perfect scene for seduction.

Tommy didn’t need any convincing and he was stripped down and ready for action before you could say two pickled onions and a micro-waved sausage. Chrissie gently led Vicky into the gents to see her boyfriend stripped naked and this time she had no choice but to believe her.

“All men are pigs,” Chrissie told a weeping Vicky at home later – and she should know.

Elsewhere in Walford, Stacy has managed to get herself sacked from two jobs in as many days; ripping Zoe off on her stall and pouring coffee into Kate’s bag in the nail salon. A track record to make any Slater proud.

For the want of any decent storylines, the ‘men’ of Walford have formed a football team called Real Walford, managed bizarrely, by Micky Miller.

Real Walford’s performance for their first match was about as inspired and convincing as England’s against Spain.

The Walford boys, however, managed to come away with a victory after a series of dodgy, illegal fouls and dirty tricks. Let’s hope Sven was watching.’

Posted: 22nd, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink