Comic Relief

‘WITH Ozzy Osbourne still trying to recover his shakes after his ordeal at the hands of a gem thief, we have tales of more intruders this morning.

‘Pallid’

Intruder No.1 is Vic Reeves, who was parachuted into the Australian jungle to be reunited with wife Nancy Sorrell and to put a bit of passion (2) into this year’s I’m A Celebrity.

The Star (“We’ll Fumble In The Jungle”) says the comic’s arrival hasn’t met with universal approval, especially from Fran Cosgrove (who had been making pathetic attempts to get into Nancy’s knickers) and Janet Street-Porter (who is worried she’ll be kept awake by Vic getting into Nancy’s knickers).

But he’s a lot more welcome than the female stalker who, the Sun says, has now TWICE broken into George Michael’s North London home.

And more welcome indeed than our old friends, The Sex Inspectors.

Award-winning Star columnist, former TV presenter and part-time bouncy castle Vanessa Feltz this morning issues this warning – don’t go sticking your snooty noses under my duvet.

Somehow, Nessie, we think you’re safe.

The nation may be happy to witness a live post-mortem, to watch Rebecca Loos pleasuring farmyard animals and to see Janet Street-Porter without make-up.

But there are still some things we really haven’t got the stomach for…’

Posted: 25th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink