Sea Listers

‘YOU would have thought that Jordan was made for a life on the ocean waves.

‘To inflate, blow here and here’

After all, not many of us come equipped with our very own life-preservers and inflatable life raft fitted as standard.

But when the pneumatic glamour model spent an eight-day trip aboard an ‘exotic’ Caribbean cruise liner with her Dinky Toy fiancé Peter Andre, she spent the whole time throwing up.

This, we feel obliged to point out, was not a reaction to the exotic cuisine on board (steak and chips, hamburger and chips, fish and chips etc.) nor to her future husband’s singing nor indeed to the presence of his family.

It was because Jordan hadn’t brought her sea legs with her, with which to flee the troublesome press.

‘Imagine being stuck in the middle of the ocean when you’re feeling sick because of the motion of the boat anyway and wherever you go there’s press everywhere,’ she fumes.

‘It ruined the whole holiday. I couldn’t wait to get off the boat.’

Of course, when Jordan talks about the press, she is not including OK!

They were obviously invited on board to take the pictures of Jordan throwing up and Peter being small that grace this week’s issue.

Nor presumably was she talking about the cameras that have been following her round for the past few months as part of Sky One’s When Jordan Met Peter programme.

She’s talking about the people who can’t tell the difference between her public private life (as chronicled by Sky and OK!) and her private private life (offers in writing to her agent…)

And while we’re on the subject, OK! would just like to say congratulations on the documentary. It’s hilarious…

‘It’s funny, eh?’ replies Pete. ‘We’re mad!”

Posted: 30th, November 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink