But Is It Porn?

‘THE Express may well have access to a vast collection of erotically charged photos of Asian Babes through its owner Richard Desmond’s publishing empire, but it would never soil the pages of the Express with such tawdriness.

Vanessa Feltz

There is no room for “Stripping Sunita from Solihull” in the pages of the esteemed organ, which continues to proudly call itself “The World’s Greatest Newspaper”.

Instead of sleaze, Express readers are treated to a serious study into “Why this is the body women want”.

The body belongs to Kelly Brook, and over two pages the Express uses photographic evidence – front and back shots of the actress in a white bikini – and many words to say how terrific it is.

Those aren’t the “tits” or “fun bags” of some low-rent porn title, but “breasts”. Consider her “bottom” and ignore Kelly’s “ass” or ‘arris”.

While the paper’s legion of readers’ wives consider their own bodies – and those of their peers through another of Desmond’s titles – we turn on a few pages to look at Vanessa Feltz.

“Vanessa strikes a blow for women everywhere,” says the headline to piece in which a “furious” Feltz is said to have poured a class of iced waster over John McCririck’s head.

There’s even a photo of La Feltz doing just that, tipping her drink over the cowering horseracing presenter.

And the reason for this outrage is that while debating fidelity on TV‘s The Wright Stuff, the man whose sexists remarks on Celebrity Big Brother made a nation chuckle, made the clear mistake of calling the blonde one “ugly”.

While telling the world in a loud voice about how faithful she was during her 16 years of marriage to surgeon Michael Kurner – he left her for another women – Vanessa said she should have had a few “skirmishes” herself.

Quick off the staring gate, McCririck countered: “But would anyone want to have an affair with you? Surely not.” He went on: “As for Vanessa she can know nothing about this because no one could possibly fancy her.”

So Nessy stood up and doused the man in cold water.

And let’s not doubt for a second that McCririck is wrong. As next month’s issue of Big Ones International will certainly prove…’

Posted: 3rd, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink