Water Board
‘FREDS used to making money out of crap (he sells meat pies), but this time hes surpassed himself by trying to pass off sewerage as fresh spring water. Fred thinks that hes discovered Weatherfields mythical Healing Well under Audreys back garden, and hes seeing pound signs flashing in front of him.
| Passenger on board |
Freds so convinced that hes about to become a millionaire that hes even put the Rovers up for sale in a bid to raise the funds to start his own bottling plant. Poor Freds about to have his dreams shattered yet again though when its discovered that his discovery is an underground sewage leak rather than Weatherfields answer to Lourdes.
Someone else about to have their hopes of wealth and celebrity dashed is Candice, a girl who makes Coleen McLoughlin look like an intellectual giant. Candice has decided that she needs to become famous so that her footballing boyfriend Warren wont leave her. Well what can you do, luv? Audrey asked her hairdressing assistant. Candice looked confused: Wot do yer mean, what can I do? I just wanna be famous. Well its worked for Abi Titmus and Jade Goody, among others.
Candice has decided to try her luck at becoming a weathergirl. It worked for Ulrika didnt it? she told her stunned boyfriend. Well, if your ambition is to have three children by three different men, then she couldnt have picked a better role model.
Candice would be better off taking some tips from Tracy Barlow about getting what you want. After two years of borderline stalking, she finally landed her prize: a night of passion with balding, ex-con Steve McDonald. A fact that her grandmother Blanche was quick to point out. Two years and hes taken yer to bed twice. Never out dancing or to the pictures. Hardly the romance of the century is it? she scoffed.
Tracy has turned to Steve for comfort after Rays funeral. Steve had offered her a glass of wine which we all know in Soap Speak is the equvilent of saying: brace yerself luv, youve pulled.
The course of Soap Love never did run smooth, though, and only minutes after Tracy had pulled her pants on from the night before, the rot had set in. Tracy thought Steve stood her up for a drink in The Rovers and so made a point of kissing Nathan in front of everyone; Steve retaliated by taking Kellys telephone number. Of course this can only mean that theyll be tripping down the aisle in a matter of months.
But therell be no wedding bells for Martin as his plans to marry Katy Harris are shattered by the fact that shes about to die. Katy hovers between life and death in Weatherfield General after she left a note confessing to the killing of her father and then tried to commit suicide.
Although after ten years of marriage to Gail, getting wed to a corpse is something Martins probably used to.’
Posted: 21st, April 2005 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
