Giving Him One
‘IF only Prince Harry had been born with a pair of trophy ears and covered in leaves there would have been no rumours about his parentage.
|
| He’s his father’s son |
But as soon as we heard that Diana had been having an affair with Army office James Hewitt, and then saw a picture of the flame-haired cad, we began to doubt.
And so too did what the Sun terms senior Royals, who, as the paper notes in todays front-page extracts from a yet another new book on the Princesss life, made Harry take a DNA test.
The books author, Simone Simmons, says she was shown a letter that demanded that Harry spill his blood to prove his worth.
And, as the Sun says, the blood is thought to have confirmed that Charles is Harrys dad. And that, for reasons best left for another book, William was also tested. Same result.
At least now this tawdry tale can be put to bed. Although not to bed with Diana, who, as the story goes, gave all her men a score out of ten for their performances in her private quarters.
Earlier in the week, we learnt that JFK Junior scored a magnificent 10 out of 10 for services to the crown. Thats a good score, but surely even he could have gone the extra mile and given it 110% of his effort.
But, even so, Kennedy tops Dianas league table of lovers, the points system for which is complicated but thought to be based on three points for a mutually satisfying score draw, two points for saying something nice about her hair and one point for every disparaging remark made about Charles.
As such, Hewitt scores a commendable but slightly disappointing 9 out of 10. Oliver Hoare holds his own and the bronze medal position with an above average 6.
And in last place although this is by no means a definitive list is Charles, barely making it back to the stables on a pathetic and tired 1 point.
Lets just hope his sons have inherited their mothers sex drive and skills, as well as her looks…’
Posted: 29th, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
