A Family Do

‘UNPACK those pearly wedding hats viewers – there’s going to be another EastEnders wedding: Dennis has decided to make an honest woman out of his step-sister by marrying her.

‘Is your plot as stale as mine?’

“I don’t wanna keep running [out of pies] any more, Dennis,” Sharon told her fiancé/brother. “Let’s settle in Walford,” she told him; four little words guaranteed to strike fear into anyone’s heart.

Two other people less than happy about Dennis and Sharon’s decision to stay in London’s cheeriest Borough are Chrissie and Pat: Pat, because Dennis had promised to sell the bookies to her and Chrissie because she’s terrified that Den’s ‘Princess’ is going to do some digging – perhaps quite literally – and discover that her father is buried under the floor of the Queen Vic.

Chrissie is desperately trying to sell the Vic before anyone discovers her secret, and has roped in her dodgy solicitor pal Amanda into forging Den’s signature. Kat is determined to make Chrissie pay for involving Zoe in her murderous plans.

Chrissie’s in luck, though, as Kat’s been distracted by her attempts to woo back Alfie, her estranged husband. In a ‘hilarious’ storyline, Alfie had managed to arrange dates with both Kat and Little Mo on the same night. Not wanting to let either sister down, he dashed between the two houses and ate two dinners at the same time. He should have taken lessons from Sonia – eating two dinners a night is about normal for her.

Alfie and Little Mo are trying to keep their budding romance a secret; so, of course, they’ve been snogging on street corners in broad daylight. Ian spotted them together and has taken in upon himself to lecture Alfie on his morals – this from a man who’s slept with prostitutes and pretended his daughter had cancer to get someone to marry him. “But I love ‘em both,” wailed Alfie, who’s probably as sick of this ridiculous story line as everyone else. “Just sort it,” growled Ian, echoing the thoughts of us all.

Demi Millar is also having to make difficult choices in love. In a heart warming, updated take on ‘Romeo and Juliet’ for these Chavtastic times, the 14-year-old mother of one has just discovered that her boyfriend and father of her daughter is about to be shipped off to Scotland. “We’ve gotta run away togefer,” Leo told Demi. “We’ve got to get out of this place before it destroys our lives.”

Out of the mouths of babes eh?’

Posted: 26th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink