Kate’s Mate

‘KATE Middleton is tall. She has brown hair. She has a silver watch she likes to wear on her right wrist. She has… did we mention her height?

‘Is she always naked when she eats?’

It’s clear we have much more to learn about Kate, the woman who has won Prince William’s heart. But the good news in the Sun is that we will soon be able to meet her – she and Wills are just weeks away from their first official engagement together.

In readiness for this momentous day, when the spotlight will be shone onto Kate’s brunette head, the gel’s been given media training – “the type of grooming that allowed Camilla to make the shift from Prince Charles’s mistress to become the Duchess of Cornwall.”

Why the Sun tells us this we’re uncertain. Could it be that Middleton is not Williams’s love at all, but the latest filly in Charles’s stables?

Of course, in a few weeks we can ask Kate ourselves, and with her media training she’ll be able to give a clear and concise answer, and possibly set it to music and turn it into a small film. It may even earn her a GCSE.

And her first official outing will certainly set her on a path to becoming William’s bride. The Mail says speculation is rife (not least of all in the Mail) that Kate is being groomed to join the Firm.

“The fact that Kate has met with the Queen several times and has dined with her privately should not be underestimated,” says an official in the Mail.

Quite so. The last thing the Queen wants is another new arrival with an eating disorder, or one who frowns at her habit of feeding the corgis at the table…’

Posted: 20th, September 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink