Diana’s Other Rock

‘BOMBS going off in Bali – many dead – not enough for you? Want something juicier? Something more sensational? Well, you’d best buy the Express, which digs six-feet down into its resources and screams: “DIANA’S SECRET WEDDING PLAN.”

Can it be real?

This is some news for us who had thought Princess Diana, for it is ever she, was dead.

Could it be possible that she has somehow returned from beyond for one more walk down the aisle? Is she right now staying in Paul Burrell’s attic, or dictating another book at his bedside?

Not that Diana ever went away from the Express, which uses its typesetting skill like an occultist uses a Ouija board to contact the deceased Diana whenever it wants a new front-page headline.

Today the Express’s spiritualists relay the message that when she and her lover died, Princess Di and Dodi Fayed were planning to announce their engagement.

Not only that, but at the time of the accident, Di and Dodi were on their way to his apartment, where he planned to propose.

The Princess had even chosen the £130,000 engagement ring for herself – a ring that is now shown to the world. For the record, and for all women who want to get the Di look, this ring is covered in diamonds. At its front is a four-pointed star, also covered in diamonds and edged in yellow gold. It is either horrible or hideous, depending on which angle you approach it from.

And then, looking at it, and remembering that Di did possess a certain style, we begin to wonder how genuine this story is. Did Di’s wardrobe contain an outfit that would sit easily with this monstrosity?

Alberto Repossi says it is all true. He told the inquiry into the couple’s death that the ring was all set to be winched onto Di’s elegant finger.

Only, who is this Repossi? Why, as the Express tells us, he’s a trusty Monte Carlo-based jeweller, who includes the ring in his “Say Yes” collection.

Such a revelation, however true – and Repossi’s statement says it is – can do little damage to the jeweller’s reputation.

Which brings us to the crux of this matter, and to Express’s question: “Does Diana’s engagement ring support claims she was murdered?”

Yes. No. Don’t know.

But looking at that ring again, and considering its dimensions, it could probably support that and a whole lot more besides…’

Posted: 3rd, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink