Ghadie All Over

‘BEFORE ordering the crab sticks and the savoloys, a celebrity need to make sure their wedding celebrations don’t clash with anyone else’s.

“Can you fit me in sometime in September,” says the celebrity fiancée to the vicar. “Sorry,” says the padre. “Jordan’s booked up for September. “What all of it?” “Yes, says the wedding booker, “it’s a big dress.”

You sigh with disappointment. You consult your caterer. It’s OK, the food you rashly ordered will keep until late 2023, so no worries there.

The one problem to confront is whether or not you’ll still be famous in a month’s time. As the showbiz calendar goes: “Fifteen minutes has September, April, June or November…”

But it all no problem for soap actress Samia Ghadie, who saw that her Coronation Street contract extended beyond October and that her character Maria Sutherland was not about to be killed by a meteor, trampled by a runaway emu or kidnapped by a gang of Albanian fishermen looking for some human bait.

So she booked the wedding. And invited OK! along to come and see her marry Matt Smith, who, like the magazine, had no prior commitments.

But what’s this? There’s another wedding! “We had a bit of a hiccup with work,” says Samia. “They decided to film Les and Cilla’s wedding on the same day.” (Note: This is not the wedding of Cilla Black and Les Dennis – that for later – this is a soap wedding between soap characters.)

But the staff at Corrie would not stand in the path of true love. So they rescheduled everything and Samia was able to attend her own do, as were her fellow cast members from the hit show.

So we get to see Samia arriving at St Philip’s Church in the centre of Alderley Edge, Cheshire, in a silver Rolls Royce and experience the “buzz of anticipation” that rings around the church as the clock strikes 1pm.

Samia is on time. She’s taking no chances. She’s not going to lose her slot as the front-page face of OK!.

And OK! seems in something of hurry, too. After a long three-page preamble about what the bride is wearing, how the bridesmaids look amazing and that the groom has been friendly with a local bridal firm for years, OK! gets to the ceremony.

And it’s over in a flash. No sooner has Jackie Smith read Corinthians Chapter 13 (“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I played Little Orphan Annie in the school production” etc.), than the vows are exchanged, the crowd applauds, everyone cries and it’s off to the couple’s Cheshire home for a party in a marquee.

The prawn tempura with chilli sauce, samosas, chicken satay with peanut sauce and spring rolls with plum sauce are all very nice, we are sure. But like the wedding, the service does seem a trifle hurried.

We’ve still got the taste of mushed peanuts in our mouth when it’s time to sit down at the 13 circular tables, each of which have been given a name in memory of something special to the couple.

There’s Pinocchio, in honour of the eatery where Samia and Matt enjoyed their first meal together. The Oh! What A Night table, named in honour of the first show they saw together. And Vatican, where Matt proposed.

And then we spot some more guests arriving, including Corrie actress Jane Danson, who has just dashed from her sister’s wedding – who not being a celeb was free to book her do on any day she pleased.

But hold the photospead! Where’s Samia? Where’s Matt? Have they left already?

Of course not. To the strains of Sade’s By Your Side, a white backdrop behind the top table falls away. And there, standing beneath a huge spinning mirror ball are the happy couple.

Soon others glide onto the dance floor. As the “revellers dance into the night, everybody agreed that when it came to weddings Mr and Mrs Smith were streets ahead of the rest”.

Even if they are a month behind Jordan…’

Posted: 22nd, October 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink