Pete’s Lost It

‘PETE Doherty has lost it. No, not that – his passport. And the Sun says he’s “frantic”.

For all we know about Pete, frantic might be his preferred state of being. And, as the Sun says, right now Pete is frantically looking for his passport, without which he can’t fly to New York to see his true love, Kate Moss.

And this document is not without sentimental value. Aside from the obvious sense of national pride that swells in Pete’s bosom as he as clutches the red book to his chest and considers the rampant lion and wise message “DIEU ET MON DRIOT”, the passport features poems and drawings by Moss.

And do you know that if you doodle a pair of round glasses and a goatee beard on a passport-sized photo of Pete’s face, Doherty looks a little like the picture of Johnny Depp in the Mirror.

In his frantic state of mind, Pete may well seize up said photo of Depp and present it to the authorities at Heathrow Airport. And he might read the story that goes with it, and therein learn that Moss’s former lover is thinking about her.

Depp is upset that Moss has been dragged “through the mud” over her cocaine abuse. “Kate should live her life how she wants to,” says Depp. “She’s not running for office, she ain’t looking to be the next Messiah.”

To the Mirror this is “DEPP CHARGE – Johnny blasts fashion bosses for dumping Kate Moss over cocaine habit.”

Not that the actor actually mentions the fashion world. That’s just the Mirror’s interpretation of his words. And, yes, that is the Mirror that broke the story of cocaine Kate when it published clandestine pictures of the model in a private recording studio taking drugs.

And, of course, if Kate is being dragged through the mud, it’s mud that serves to make her skin brighter and more radiant. And you can see how good she looks in the Mirror and in the Mail.

In the Mail, readers and Depp learn that Kate has not been dumped by the fashion world.

The creative director for Burberry, which dropped Moss from a campaign when the drugs story broke, says Kate is absolutely still a part of our family”. And she’s just signed a deal with Roberto Cavalli. And her face is set to grace a new range of mascara by Rimmel.

Good for her. Or not. As Peter Stoker, Director of Drug Prevention Alliance, says: “The message is that Kate Moss can walk on water, even if it is awash with cocaine.”

If true, that would indeed make Moss something of the Messiah. And mean that, unlike Doherty, she needs no passport to cross the Atlantic…’

Posted: 11th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink