Long Live The Queen

‘“KERRY: YOU ARE DEAD.”

Oh, say it ain’t so! Surely our Kerry – our Kerry Katona – hasn’t done as all great and good entertainers do and died young?

The Sun’s front-page is deeply unsettling. But before we crawl on our hands and knees to the Warrington Spud U Like to sign a book of condolences, we read on.

And in so doing we learn that Kerry is not deceased. She’s not even ill. The news is that Kerry’s former best friend Michelle Hunter is dead, or as good as.

The paper says that eyewitnesses at Dublin Airport saw Katona shove Hunter, grab her arm, jab a finger and spit “You’re dead, you’re dead” in her face.

Travelling with her two daughters, onlookers say that the celebrity mum of the year “whacked” Hunter with a suitcase.

Says Hunter: “Kerry was screaming at the top of her voice ‘You’re dead. You best be scared because you’ll know I’ll do it.’”

It’s interesting stuff. And encouraging for the millions of us who’ve been wondering where Kerry’s career would take her next.

Celebrity Murderer of The Year has to be a step up from stacking shelves at Iceland…’

Posted: 19th, December 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink