Baby Bouncers
‘PAPERS! demands the boader guard. The traveller stares ahead, unblinking. Papers! Still no movement.
Then a small crease forms around the potential terrorists eyes. She starts to turn pink. Then red. Then a deep and beetroot purple. She seems to suck all the air from the room. She begins to wail, kick and thrash about.
It didnt take much to crack this potential drugs smuggler. But, then, she is only four months old.
Looking at her papers, prized from her surprisingly firm and sticky grip, we note, as the Mail does, that she travels under the name Bethany Thomas.
Her mother is called Mandy. Her father is known as Gwyn. And she has a brother called Geraint. At time of writing thats all the gang members known to the authorities. But it is likely Bethany has grandparents, aunts and very possibly a third cousin twice removed living in the Tipton area of Leicester.
What Bethany does not have, however, is a left earlobe. Well, not one visible on the picture Mandy sent along with Bethanys passport application forms.
Which means the photo was in breach of Rule 13 of the 16 rules that must be adhered to when applying for your official travel documents. The application was refused.
If Mandy and Gwyn want to take their children to Menorca they must resubmit Bethanys documents including a picture of their youngest, earlobes and all.
As the guidelines clearly state, applicants must show their full face, with a neutral expression, with their mouth closed.
Problem is that Bethany keeps on opening her mouth to breathe, smile, burp and scream, sometimes all at the same time.
And thats when shes not begging someone to feed her addiction to milk…’
Posted: 18th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
