Nurture Over Nature

‘IT’S winter. And it’s cold. Two facts which those of you with GCSE geography (you know who you are) may view as entirely unrelated.

But to the Express, cold weather in the depths of winter is hot news. The paper warns its readers that the gypsy armada sailing in from the east – the one carrying the fluey birds – is being powered by icy Siberian air.

Things are cold and they are going to get colder. Best wrap up. Best not to do as Angelina Jolie does and arrive at London’s Heathrow Airport wearing a short top that rides up over your pregnant tumtum.

But what Angelina loses in geography, she more than makes up for in the Latin module. As the Sun shows, Angelina’s naked tummy carries a motto.

Ad majorem Angelina gloriam, the words written in greenish ink across Angelina’s exposed midriff read: “Quod me nutrit me destruit.” Words there that we can call learn from.

But what do these words mean? The Sun, ever eager to educate its readers in arcane language (See Richard Littlejohn), tells us that the phrase translates into English as “What nourishes me also destroys me”.

We hope this is no cry for help from the embryo that lurks within Angelina’s literary belly.

We also hope that when passing through the UK, Angelina reads the Express’s big news that it’s cold here. And, if the Sun is right and the Brandgelinas are heading to Davos, Switzerland, for the World Economic Forum – Angelina is a UN Goodwill Ambassador – we warn her that it might be colder still high in the Alps.

Angelina is a bright girl and we are sure she will learn from her London experience and cover up her protruding belly while in Switzerland.

Why, she may even become something of the geography expert, especially when after her pregnancy her tattoo has stretched and sagged.

Then the words will no longer be words – they’ll be isobars…’

Posted: 25th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink