(Track) Suits You

‘LAST week, Victoria Beckham came down from on high and delivered her 10 Commandments for a better dressed you (See Anorak: ‘A Perfect 10’.)

Follow these rules and you too can be as Posh, no longer wandering the fashion wilderness, but heading for the Promised Land – Japan, “because they make everything in tiny sizes”.

But not everyone is as Posh, and today the Mail brings the counter argument voiced by another footballer’s lover, the chavtastic Coleen McLoughlin.

In her weekly column for Closer magazine (we read it so you don’t have to), Coleen tells us how you too can look like a full-figured girl in a baggy velveteen tracksuit.

So without further ado, let’s see what she has to say, focusing on a few of her key points. Take it away, Coleen:

1. Don’t worry about size. Says Coleen: “If it’s too tight, it’ll look cheap.” And since her Wayne’s got loads of money, Coleen can wear a baggy velveteen tracksuit.

5. Knickers. Coleen: “Visible knicker lines don’t do anything for anyone.” Even if they are voluminous granny kickers. Eh, Wayne?

8. Accessories. Coleen: “Accessories can make even ordinary outfits looks special.” So use your boyfriend’s cash to invest in a huge diamond ring, just the thing to set off any baggy velveteen tracksuit.

10. Nightwear. Coleen: “You don’t have to spend a fortune and you can’t beat Primark for pyjamas.” You don’t have to, but if you can spend a fortune, go for it.

Now all you need to get the Coleen look is to date a millionaire footballer. And buy a baggy velveteen tracksuit’

Posted: 15th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink