The Clash Of Civilisations

‘OLD punks never die – they just give their Mohicans a blue rinse.

Here comes one now. It’s Johnny Rotten, and he’s on stage at the Brits to pick up a Life Time Achievement Award on behalf of the remaining Sex Pistols.

Johnny’s snarling like an OAP trying to extract a sticky toffee from their dentures. He’s got bright orange hair, like Coronation Street’s septuagenarian shopkeeper Rita. And he is not to be messed with.

Rotten is dangerous. He wants anarchy in the UK. He sings about there being “no future” and “H bombs”. He wants to “destroy the passerby”.

But times have changed. Rotten’s antics may spice up the moribund Brit Awards in 2007, as the Sun says they are intended to, but there is a war on terror going on. Rotten makes a convincing case for being “pretty vacant”, but the authorities are taking no chances and he is being dragged away for questioning.

If you doubt that could happen consider the Mirror’s story of Harraj Mann, 24. While on a taxi ride to Durham Tees Valley airport, Mann plugged in his MP3 player and began singing along to the tunes.

A rendition of Procol Harem’s Whiter Shade of Pale passed off without incident, as ever. The driver liked it but was less keen on Mann’s next number, Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song.

Still the music played on. And up next was The Clash. As Mann says: “Then, since I was going to London I played The Clash.” And so it was that London Calling was blasted out.

To help readers sing along, the Sun prints the lyrics of the band’s great hit. “New war is declared.” “Engines stop running.” “Meltdown” is “expected”. And Mann – an Asian – is about to get on a plane.

Without a moment to lose, the cabbie calls the cops. Mann is already on the plane. But it’s not too late, and two men race onboard and frogmarch Mann off for questioning.

The Mirror says Mann was interrogated for three hours by Special Branch officers. “What’s this about engines failing? When is the meltdown? War is declared! On whom?”

And such antics are not without precedent. As the Sun says, back in 1994, Mike Devine was arrested when Special Branch intercepted an innocent text message about The Clash song Tommy Gun. That tune includes the lines “Maybe he wants to die for the money” and “Standing there in Palestine lighting the fuse”.

Of course, ever the punk at heart, Mann, his liberty restored, says he can laugh about the incident, even if his family are furious.

And we hope Johnny Rotten also sees the funny side of life as he is hauled off the stage muttering about anarchy and the price of a blue rinse…’

Posted: 5th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink