Rock ‘N’ Rolls
‘IS it any wonder the doyens of the Brits music awards need the aged Sex Pistols to enliven the show when todays stars are as exciting as yesterdays cheddar cheese?
More of a ripple than a wave |
Take Oasiss front man Liam Gallagher. Hes bad to the bone. Hes dangerous. And just as soon as his personal trainer has rolled up his legwarmers for the day, Gallagher will stick two fingers up to the world.
As the Sun hears someone close to Gallagher say: Liam has become quite self conscious recently about his belly.
Well, he doesnt want to turn into a lard arse, like some of our other stars. In a rare departure from staring at women, the papers have taken to staring at man.
And though we dont get to see a shot of Gallaghers paunch, the Star does have a shot of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen wallowing in a Caribbean swimming pool.
To reduce the glare from this hairless expanse of quivering alabaster skin, the Changing Rooms designer manfully holds a white umbrella over his head.
And then theres the Mails shot of Jeremy Clarkson. Hes also in the Caribbean. Hes standing in a pair of revolting swimming trunks, the lower part of his body neatly shaded by an overhanging belly.
Clarkson is letting it all hang out unlike David Hasselhoff. Filming Baywatch on a beach in Hawaii, the Mirror produces two photographs of Hasselhoff in his red shorts.
In one he spots the camera, sticks out his chest and sucks in his tummy. In another, Hasselhoff is relaxed, and so too his belly, which appears as a hairier and browner version of Gallagher, Llewelyn-Bowens and Clarksons.
And then there are those breasts…’
Posted: 5th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink