Swapsies

MARIA de la Cruz is Ecuador’s “answer to Posh Spice,” say both the Mirror and Sun.

Question marks have long hung over Posh – Does she eat? Can she sing? Are they real? – but we have yet to be furnished with a definitive answer. But now we have one.

Maria is revealed to be the 25-year-old wife of Ecuador’s Ulises. She has a daughter called Samantha, braces on her teeth and a pair of black combat trousers.

And the similarities between the two women do not end there. As Maria tells the Sun: “I’m not famous in Ecuador, it’s just my husband who is well known.” She goes on to say that Victoria Beckham is a “very special woman”, and that rather than shopping she has spent her time in Germany taking her daughter for walks in the park.

While Posh and her cohorts spend £10,000 flying three beauticians to Germany to spay them an orangey brown colour (Mirror: “EN-GER-TANNED”), Maria is naturally olive skinned.

It’s hard not to like Maria, the only wife or girlfriend of an Ecuador player able to afford the trip to Germany, as the Mirror claims.

And we would like to put in a transfer request, taking Maria to Blighty in a swap deal that would see Posh go to South America.

But any deal might be complicated by a revelation in the Mail. We are shocked to report that Posh has a bald spot on her head.

While only small, the patch will surely dent Posh’s value in the transfer market. If all her hair goes, she will finally look like a true lollipop, of the type once sucked on by Kojak.

We should push for the transfer as early as possible…

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink