Making It Legal

AFTER the disappointment of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s cancelled wedding, and Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn’s protracted will-they-won’t-they nuptials, finally we get to see a top Hollywood actress marry.

“I’M SO HAPPY,” says the Star’s headline, words that could come straight from the lips of any Nicole Kidman fan but are spoken by the actress as she gets M.A.R.R.I.E.D to country music singer Keith Urban.

“We just want to thank everyone in Australia and around the world who have sent us their warm wishes,” says Nicole as she ties the knot in Sydney.

Her thanks are not needed. Her happiness is our happiness. And her tears are our tears. The Mail (“the blubbing bride”) watches Nicole dissolve in wedding day tears. And Keith starts to cry as he sees his bride approaching.

But the tears do not last for long. After a kiss described as “long and passionate”, a guest says things went from being “quiet and elegant and intense to really loud, like we were suddenly at a soccer game”.

Happily, we can report the similarities between the wedding and a football match end there – no pews are thrown and German police are not forced to pepper spray the congregation.

The 1,000 wellwishers massed outside the Cardinal Cerretti Memorial Chapel, on St Patrick’s Estate, Manley, do not sing lewd songs about Nicole’s sexual preferences but just cheer and clap as the couple emerge.

Then it is off for a Romeo and Juliet-themed marquee reception. Hugh Jackman gives a rendition of Boy from Oz, Keith sings a song (“I’m gonna love you like nobody loves you – and I’ll earn your trust makin’ memories of us”), guests Russell Crowe and Naomi Watts mingle and the lawyers look on (under the terms of their prenuptial agreement, Keith earns £350,000 for every year of marriage but forgoes the lot if he drinks to excess.)

And love is all around…

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink