Kate’s Clean Slate

MUD sticks. And cocaine gets caught in your nasal hairs. And so it is that Kate Moss remains “cocaine Kate” in the Sun.

Of course, Kate is in the clear over those allegations that she took and supplied cocaine. But still the Sun keeps a close eye on the model.

It looks on as Kate, arrives at the opening of a new bar in London’s Dorchester hotel. Having adhered to the First Rule of Kate (the word “cocaine” must be mentioned in every story about her), the paper adheres to the Second Rule of Kate and tells us what she is wearing.

For the record, Kate sports a “revealing” leopard skin dress. And a new friend called Kelly Osbourne.

The Mirror has a shot of Kate in conversation with the mushroom-like Kelly. And another picture of Kate in the back of a car with a can of beer and Dame Shirley Bassey.

And it also hears Kate say a few words about her recent past. “I know I’ve been really stupid and childish,” says she. “I mean, I’m still very childish and always will be. But I am 10,000 times smarter than before.”

Of course, being childish, Kate means to say she’s a million, billion, trillion, gazillion times smarter than she’s ever been in her entire life. But it is rude to interrupt. And we would allow her to continue if it weren’t for Pete Doherty wanting to say a few words.

Pete has written a book, and some of its contents catch the Mirror’s eye. “Anyway, I love you so much it has estranged me from myself even,” writes Pete, whose book will hit the shleves of a bookshop near you very soon – and then slump into a broken heap on the floor . “To say it on paper is a bit off but marry me and I’ll do the crack off if you want.”

Beautiful words. And had Kate seen them, she would surely now be Mrs Kate Doherty. And to go with her new husband she’d have a new dress and a new epithet.

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink