Seasons To Be Cheerful

IT’S hot. It’s that week of the year we Britishers call “summer”.

As the Star says: “IT’S HOTTER THAN RIO.” Over here temperatures have soared to 91.4 degrees Fahrenheit, while Rio de Janeiro can only mange a “paltry” 71 degrees.

The Brazilians might well argue that it is their winter time, but their excuses fall on British ears blocked up with sand, sea and suncream.

Britain is all things to all journalists. And while the Star sees Brazil, the Mirror looks at the south coast and sees Florida and Australia.

The Sun’s man in trunks thinks Britain is the new Bermuda. We’ve even got sharks. The paper has a shot, taken from the cliffs above Porthcurno, Cornwall, of a 25ft long basking shark cruising the waters.

Holidaymakers should not fear it. As the Mail says, the beast is not aggressive, and unless you are plankton, you should survive any encounter.

Meanwhile, up in Yorkshire it’s monsoon season. A picture in the Mirror shows lightning strikes and flash floods in Todmorden and Hebdon Bridge. The Mail shows a photograph of motorists pushing cars down a high street that now resembles a small part of the Ganges delta.

Who needs to go overseas when you can stay in Britain and get terrorised by sharks, third degree sunburn and drowned?

Not us.

Posted: 4th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink