Out Of Fashion
FOR someone so very thin, Victoria Beckham takes up an awful lot of space.
There’s a shot of Her Poshness on the front of the Express. “POSH TAKES THE PLUNGE,” announces the caption beneath a picture of Victoria in a white top slashed to an area just south of her toffee-apple-shaped breasts.
The headline is a little misleading. It’s not Posh who has plunged – diving into the waters and vying to become the new Steve Irwin – but her top.
And Sun readers can get to see the headline-making top in full colour. In New York for Fashion Week, Posh has met the Americans in this white top, high-waisted tartan pencil skirt and long black gloves.
Readers are understandably impressed. And wowed when they read that this is only one of THREE outfits Posh wore in a single day.
And while the Star looks at “the saucy minx” and zooms in on Vicky’s plunging neckline and the contour of one breast, the Mirror gives the bigger picture.
As the headline writ across two pages announces: “72 hours, 8 outfits, 1 Posh.”
By a combination of luck and careful eating Posh’s thinness enables the Mirror to produce full-length colour pictures of each outfit.
Indeed, Posh may like to note that if the Mirror is prepared to do away with a narrow column about four men appearing in court on “terror charges”, she can cram in another one or two looks.
But while Mirror readers learn “How to look Posh…for a lot less dosh”, the Mail clacks its tongue and sneers.
“POSH THE FASHION LIABILITY,” says the headline. “Five days. Ten outfits. And one would-be style icon who just can’t get it right.”
Are we to believe that Posh’s changes are a desperate bid to find a look that works for her? Once again, thanks to Posh’s skeletal dimensions, the Mail manages to picture all ten outfits and still find room for its fashion expert to cast an eye over each.
And Liz Jones, for it is she, says Vicky no longer gets as many freebies as she once did. Why? “Because the moment VB is spotted out and about in a certain look…she kills it stone dead. Victoria Beckham is now a fashion liability.”
This is tough stuff. Surely Jones means to say Vicky is a fashion ambassador, a thin beacon of hope in a sea of replica football kits, shell suits and chapped thighs.
It is true that few other women dress like Posh, but we believe this is a simple matter of geometry – very few fit and fed adult women can fit into such tiny clothes.
It’s not Posh who is unfashionable – it is we who are too fat…
Posted: 13th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
