Pushy Parent

“WHO IS THE BRAINIEST OF THE ROYALS?”

It’s the big question on the cover of the Express. But don’t bother phoning in because the paper’s Polly Dunbar has the answer.

Polly tells us that since 1967, when Prince Charles went to Cambridge – Charles was the first Royal to negotiate public exams – the “Royal Family has been seen as somewhat lacking in academic aptitude”.

This is of course wrong. Royals have been thought a bit thick for a lot longer than Charles has been talking to plants and having someone help him pee straight.

We remember King Alfred, who managed to burn cakes, King Canute, who thought he could turn the tied back by waving his hands (“Is that why they’re called waves?”) and Princess Diana.

Dear Diana is used to illustrate the Express’s investigation into the Royal brain. The paper notes that Di managed one CSE in Domestic Science.

What Di’s successor Camilla managed at school is not revealed. The Express does not see her brain as being worthy of consideration. So we looked Camilla up and found that she attended school in Kensington and was “finished off” in Switzerland. Possibly by Charles.

In any case, we know who the brightest Royals are. Princess Michael, the charmless Teutonic, says her children, the simpering Lord Frederick and Lady Gabriella are the best educated. As the Princess says: “No children in the family have got as good degrees.”

Indeed, we learn that Lady Gabriella has 13 GCSEs, four A-levels and a degree from Brown University, Rhode Island. Brother Freddy has 13 GCSEs, four A-levels and a degree from Oxford University.

Bravo for them. They really are the brainy bunch. They might even be able to work out what they can do with their lives to be as successful as Diana…

Posted: 17th, October 2006 | In: Royal Family Comment | TrackBack | Permalink